I was thinking it would be great if there was a Roomba underneath, so it could at least make itself useful.

That’s Makinen’s Scottish cousin.

Get ready for that totally random tax audit coming your way.

Can we have someone hide inside a bear? Or a wolf. That would be okay too.

He didn’t have a sex party to write about so we get...this.

Nothing a rattle can can’t fix.

I thought it was Mandy Moore for a second.

You’re not wrong.

Longform essays on Twitter suck.

You’re a guy and you don’t look at porn? Ever?

Hands, fist, feet etc.

Ms. Gupta, now is not the time to discuss the lack of funding for gun violence research.

I second the motion.

He could at least have worked on his jump shot beforehand. His form was terrible.

So well put. Thank you for saying this.

Counterpoint:

Relax, It’s a joke. This isn’t the Warren Commission.

I hope they weren’t looking in the Pacific ocean.

You two should make an albumen together.