This is excellent:

The best way to fight hunger in those days was to take a big bite of the onion tied to your belt, which was the style at the time.

I see far too many people cutting burgers in half when they get them. What the hell is wrong with these people? This thing was constructed to be eaten a certain way. Someone oughta round these people up and put them in camps.

She’s a delight and will be missed. I wonder if they would get Emma Bunton from the American holiday bastardization version or look for another comedian. Sandi was so great this past season with cheering on the bakers and offering little pep talks. 

Macho Man for me. I’ve had a few occasions where I’ve let out an “Ooooooooh yeeeeeaaaaaaah” that was immediately followed by something memorable. Like the flying elbow in a hotel room on a high school trip. I turned the lights off, everyone was already in bed, I let loose the call, and everyone lets out cries of fear…

There are worse ways to spend a vacation.

Okay but Philadelphia (the brand) also makes whipped cream cheeses for bagel spreading.

Would you look at all that meat!

Now if only they could make their food 50% more filling so I wasn’t hungry thirty minutes later.

bing bong bong bing bing bing bong bing bong bing bong bing bong

I’m really appreciating the laser focus on sports in this article. This is why I come to Deadspin The Takeout.

I cover myself in mud before leaving home every day and always set up booby traps (teehee, booby) around my home before bed every night.

I’ve known more than half (probably 75-80%) but some of the questions are just nuts and I’m amazed when they know them. The Russian Tsar round was pure “why would anyone know this?” and yet they knew them all. I play bar trivia weekly, kick around on Sporcle a few times a week, know a Jeopardy champion, but I’m not…

From the first paragraph:

Look, broheim, how else am peoplesupposed to know that this sauce is saucy? It’s got a bit of a bite to it and the public needs to be forewarned, y’hear?

I keep seeing British/Irish breakfasts available for brunch at a couple places in Chicago and keep telling myself that I’ll try it some day but it looks like a billion calories, has baked beans for breakfast, and I’ve read what white and black puddings are. Why do British people hate themselves? 

Would Obama show up to Trump’s state funeral? He might out of obligation since that’s what Presidents are supposed to do. Leave it to Donny to have Barack listed as persona non grata at his funeral. No sweat off Obama’s brow, mind you. We’d all have better things to do.

Amy Kuperinskyis either trolling us or a goddamned moron. Years before I moved to Chicago I was a delivery driver for Domino’s down in South Carolina (another in a Tomsula-lite list of odd jobs I’ve had over the years) and even then we knew about the square cut. All thin crust pizzas were to be cut “Chicago-style”…

That Mustang did nothing wrong.

Christ, I still have boxes in my freezer from last year.