That feel, when an article brings you joy but you lowkey feel like you were robbed as a child for not having a photo with the jolliest-looking Santa ever...

He should be using Febreeze.

True. Pence and Ryan happily put the whole world in danger to help the super rich gain even more riches while subjecting the poor to even more wretchedness. Although, a big part of me thinks the presidential “red phone” during this administration will just go to the White House switchboard where a specially hired…

Yeah, right. Can you seriously picture Trump using the word “astrophysicist”?

Well clearly the solution is the person with 5 matches gives one to the person with three matches. Now they both have four matches. Problem solved.

these ladies should absolutely go to the job they’ve been hired to do. They should also eat a lot of raw eggs the day before. Or stub their toes. Sprain and ankle. Etc. Also, it would be great if their luggage got stolen so they only clothes they had were some baggy sweats. Show up and be as big of a pain in the…

So when is Twitter going to suspend Our Dear Leader’s account for the good of humanity? He’s already insulted China in an “unpresidented” way, caused stocks of major companies to rise and fall by billions of dollars, called out individual citizens who he thinks insulted him which led to his followers harassing them,…

Scientists are stupid because they did good in school and read a lot!

No one cares what some elite scientist has to say! <— Donald Trump, probably

Why can’t we have an egg and spoon race instead? Is it because his little hands can’t hold a teaspoon?

If your tweets are so vague and incomprehensible that you need someone clarifying them the next day, maybe you should stop tweeting. If you are the President-Elect, then YES you should absolutely stop tweeting.

Those commercials tho.

Eau de Sauvage...when you want to smell like a desert drifter...who may just be scouting a place to bury a body.

*Make him shower.

Nah, I still remember his unfunny rape joke attempt during Hobbit press tour. He’s kinda always seemed like that generic white dude who’s probably a bit of an asshole if you knew ‘im.

I don’t remember it being this controversial when God was a white woman. And Canadian.

I feel guilty, but when I hear about states like Texas losing their abortion coverage a part of me is just like you know what, good.

I’m having a hard time feeling any sympathy for Trump voters who get health benefits via the exchange or who receive Medicare/Social Security who seem stunned that the continuation of these benefits is now in real jeopardy. I feel sorry for everyone smart enough not to vote for Trump who will lose access to these…

Don’t forget she came home and told the families of the dead that “yeah I killed your people. The hell YOU gonna bout it?!” ( Cue cackling witch laugh )

Then, the day after labor day, she put on a white pantsuit and went to a party where she double dipped in the guac.