“Hmm, I need to do laundry. All my brief white panties are in the hamper.”

That’s why I measure everything - distance, volume, weight - in cubits, the way the Good Lord intended in His Good Book.

Math is a liberal agenda item.

I think the joke’s on you here - Republicans do not care if there are children starving in the streets without healthcare. Fuck ‘em! If these children wanted a good life, they should have been born with bootstraps!

The kind where you wake up screaming and coated in a thin layer of fear-sweat. Not that I know from experience.

That’s originally what I wrote, but I’ve made the joke before on Jezebel and was taken to task for being an asshole to the autistic. I’ve never felt so old in my life.

The world doesn’t explode because we all exist inside the fever-dream of a coma patient.

Captain America III: the Quest for Bucky

Yup! It’s incredibly, incredibly egotistical in a way that begs a stronger word that “egotistical.”

It’s a lazy argument. I could whine about a ton of bad things, historically, that led to my birth. Poverty is good! If there hadn’t been poverty in Italy, my great-grandparents wouldn’t have come to the U.S., met, and had my grandpa! War is good! If there hadn’t been a war over the Austrian succession, my…

My senator (Sherrod Brown) has vowed to block Sessions. He’s sent out a handful of emails to his constituents.

Well, you clearly have a conscience. Sad!

Papa Doc!

Inception was good. More Tom Hardy would have made it great.

I want a Falcon and Black Widow buddy movie. Black Widow because us ladies are criminally underrepresented in the Marvel movies, and Falcon because Anthony Mackie, full stop.

I thought I was into British dudes, but Anthony Mackie in “the Adjustment Bureau” made me realize that I’m just into hot dudes in slightly G-men-esque type suits.

That’s not fair to our ocean, though. We should strap them all to a rocket and let Superman throw them into a sun like in “Superman IV: Quest for Peace.” Of course, we are then running the risk of some weaponized garbage villain returning, but that’s a risk we have to take.

This actually happened to my great grandmother. She was 14, on the boat from Lombardy, and got her period. Her mother had died when she was young, she was traveling with her father and two younger brothers, and she had no idea what was happening. She thought she was dying.

I like to call it “renting a period film from the Red Box.”

1 share = 1,000 prayers!!!!