I’ve had bosses like this. You tell them 99 great things and 1 piece of criticism: great meeting, wonderful presentation, good participation and questions, maybe next time we can meet in the bigger conference room? Suddenly they spend the next year and a half making snarky comments about the “bigger conference…

Screwing up is thinking I have the bone structure to pull off a blunt bang and then committing to that haircut for too many years. Screwing up is my husband trying Bulletproof coffee on vacation when he was away from a reliable toilet.

I’d have to see if she’s truly empowered and is eating her poop as a result, or if she’s internalized misogyny and eats poop because of that.

I recently empowered my female dog to not barf her expensive prescription food all over the kitchen floor. She embraced the empowerment and barfed outside.

I’d rather just have a dude grab me by the pussy and be done with it. Being grabbed by the brain sounds like it would have more long-term and possibly deadly consequences.

Ridiculously excited for her take on “a Wrinkle in Time.”

Maybe a bizarro world feminist where you just do the opposite of what she does?

In my paltry handful of celebrity (or “celebrity”) encounters, I can say that some are very secure (John Barrowman and Tom Hardy were delightful) and some, who are teetering on the brink of D-list status are awful (that asshole from “Dance Moms”).

Aw, kitty! My cat would probably let me get murdered by a ghost while looking mildly inconvenienced.

My niece is non-gender conforming. Kid just likes to wear sneakers and t-shirts and basketball shorts - but my mother-in-law SHAMES her all the time. Poor kid had a panic attack about her uncle’s wedding because my MIL shamed her and said that she’d “ruin” her uncle’s big day if she didn’t wear a dress.

My husband said that the only time he remembers locker room talk getting sexual was in middle school when some brave boy tried out the word “tits” for the first time.

Aw, don’t be. I live in an old Victorian that had been split into two apartments, and my husband and I are restoring it to one home again. One day, I was in a bedroom stripping paint from the lovely woodwork and felt like someone was watching me.

YES. I have occasional sleep paralysis, and I have this thing where, right as I’m about to drift off to sleep, I hear a gunshot. I’ve mentioned it to doctors my whole life, and only last year did one know what I was talking about: it’s called “Exploding Head Syndrome.”

Didn’t she make a joke about how the women killed at a viewing of her movie were “good” people and not, like, crackheads?

Ah, well, I think I was into Exclamation! in the 90's. Later 90's was probably Vanilla Fields, which I for some unfathomable reason thought was great. Could’ve saved some coin and just rubbed vanilla extract on myself.

Same, when my mom died suddenly.

It makes me sad that we need confirmation on how she smells, but I’m also delighted that she smells like violets.

Broken heart syndrome, also called “stress-induced cardiomyopathy.” It’s real.

Yeah, the “old person” thing is maddening. Don’t people realize that the old racists will have trained up the young racists?

But if something bad *does* happen, can we still blame Marilyn Manson?