....which is why you should read my lifestyle blog! You are but a juice detox away from your own private “Hamilton” performance. Lin, such a dear, came and gave a performance up at my home in the Hamptons. It was for Buffy Saint Buffy’s divorce soiree.

Never reuse - always get a new plate. When you’re in line, mumble about how you “really should eat something” because you “just got out of a three-hour hot yoga sesh earlier.” No one in line with you will know that it’s your fifth trip up.

Normally I’d make you sign up for the newsletter and suffer through my favorite detox smoothie recipes (add 1 head of kale to 1 cup of milk, 1 cup of chocolate ice cream. Remove kale and mix in blender).

I’m blonde and insufferable. Please check out my lifestyle blog. It’s modeled on my lifestyle, obviously. I give out helpful hints, such as:

“My boat.”

“Unsolved Mysteries” both entranced and terrified me as a child.

How dare you confuse Keith Morrison with that hack Peter Van Sant!!!1!

How did I miss the rare non-husband-as-murderer episode?!?

Somewhere, Keith Morrison is furiously looking for the lone picture of Graswald that “Dateline” will feature over and over in the one hour special....

Don’t worry. I’m one of his constituents, and I troll him hard, all the time. I email him, I send him letters, I call his office, I create new profiles that talk at him on Facebook when he blocks me. Someday I’ll turn up at one of his town halls and ask him which prayer he prescribes for gun wounds and which one he…

Last year, it was the plight of mental hospitals in Florida.

My great-great was not a widow, but she was unmarried. The dad was off....doing something out west? Geological survey or railroad building or something. HE eventually returned too and married my great-great, and they went on to have three more kids together.

They might be too old to be Nevaeh’s, but they may have a daughter named that!

I feel like some skeevy guy, in a short sleeved button down and too-wide tie, is gonna sidle up while your checking out the gun.

Brick HardMeat?

My great-great grandmother has similarly been lost. She’s listed as being buried at one cemetery, but she has no stone and the cemetery records don’t list her.

Same thing happened to some of our less familiar presidents. I’m pretty sure they lost and then found Millard Fillmore when a Denny’s outside of Buffalo expanded their parking lot to make room for buses.

Benedictine chants, country, and Celtic music in the vein of Enya.

Top 5 of all time?

I would send my theoretical children to public school. My husband and I are lucky enough to probably be able to afford private school, but our local public is well-rated, and pretty diverse for the area.