A friend moved to the English countryside from Houston and lamented that there was no Hershey’s syrup for ice cream or chocolate milk. I sent her a huge jug of it for Christmas. Cost me $25 for the syrup and $75 for the shipping. It was very well appreciated.

Also, decades ago, when a roommate graduated from college,…

First butter, now bitters. What’s next, batter?

Ricky and CoryTrevor

I remember when delivery services added a “fuel surcharge” when gas went over $5 a gallon. Where was my discount when it was 93 cents a gallon a couple months back?

To hell with B2G1, I’d just like to B1 Nintendo Switch console so I’m ready for the second wave! They want me to drive 655 miles to the closest Target that has one.

To hell with B2G1, I’d just like to B1 Nintendo Switch console so I’m ready for the second wave! They want me to…

I’ll try this as soon as I’m done using the microwave to remove skidmarks.

Does this work with the Alexa surveillance device?

You can buy the complete DVD box set for $45 or used for $40. I’d pay the extra 15 bucks to have the physical media on hand so I can watch it the day Vudu goes under and all who thought they saved 15 bucks can no longer watch it.

You can buy the complete DVD box set for $45 or used for $40. I’d pay the extra 15 bucks to have the physical media…

Glad you didn’t say “Tofu Fucking Rules” because I would have wondered if that was a thing that needed rules.

In Milwaukee, we’re down to 89 cents. By the way, that includes 58 cents for state and federal taxes.

Just to be clear, stir-crazy quarantiners...

This does not mean you can marry your pet and thus change its name.

Also, for those of us who might be slightly aging punk rockers — I was in the crowd the night Wendy O. Williams was arrested in Milwaukee — the Night Flight channel is offering a $10 discount on its annual subscription, cutting the price to $29.95.

2008 and now 2020. Strange how this becomes a smart political decision only during an election year.

$75 sweatpants and a $195 shirt. Fuck you.

$75 sweatpants and a $195 shirt. Fuck you.

Lots of these aren’t very green and some aren’t very smart. An entrepreneur should manufacture a cheap cloth or recycled plastic mirror cover with elastic at one end. You can keep them in your car.

EDIT: Many entrepreneurs already do. https://www.amazon.com/Full-Set-Universal-Advanced-Technology/dp/B01MZ5Q0IX/ref=sr_1_2…

Fixed

That is kind of you. I would have given the guy who gave you an “F” an “F” for his grading, along with a “U” for “unsatisfactory. Complete grade: “FU.”

At this point it’s cheaper to fucking UPS your luggage to your hotel before you leave. Fucking skybuses.

The problem with a politician who has “step-by-step plans” is that you are talking about the government executing a plan. The Iowa Democrats had a plan to tabulate caucus results. That unconscionable, colossal fuck-up is going to reverberate for a long time.

I blame Obama.