Story would be more believable if you had said he took a bite out of his burrito and ran for the restroom.

I sing Nickelback songs while punching in my ATM PIN so the bad guys will fast-forward.

Joke by Steven Brody Stevens (RIP):
I do a lot of online dating. Once I went out with an amputee. Met her on Stub Hub. We went to IHOP.

What you are saying is that you are an Avocado Abogado.

This remains the only TV show that started me cheering during its broadcast. That is one hell of an accomplishment. And the episode where the whole direction of the show switched (“WE are being watched”) ranks among the best I’ve ever seen.

I’m a lifetime Plex Pass holder. They continue to improve the product. It runs great on the Roku and even has live TV and DVR thanks to my HD Home Run. A great investment. Runs like a charm on the Roku and on my laptop when on the road. My only wish is that it would provide easier navigation when listening to audio…

My problem is not startup, but shutdown. When I finish work and shut down to go home, it takes 12 to 15 minutes for this damn laptop to shut down. That’s valuable time!

Will miss this show. Will REALLY miss this show.

My price is $445. 11:51 a.m. Central time 2/26/19.

My price is $445. 11:51 a.m. Central time 2/26/19.

In the U.K., electronic waste is used to make black plastic (yep). A 2018 study by U.K. researchers found that toxic chemicals, like lead, may contaminate this plastic, posing an enormous health risk when recycled into food containers.

Kenosha is on the state line. We cede that shithole to Illinois/Chicagoland.

Beta test went awry:

This is going to be CAN’T MISS / ACID REQUIRED viewing.

A great life rule: NEVER EVER EVER EVER eat anything purchased at a Dollar Store.

I am being 100 percent serious here: One of my lifelong goals has been to become wealthy enough to afford a fresh, brand new pair of underwear every single day.

If there’s a corner bar in the afterlife, you can bet Dick Assman has had a beer with Dick Butt.

If this works, this will be the nicest Valentine I will receive this year.

And the french fries taste like CRAP

Wish they would have included AMSOIL in the test. I pay through the nose for that shit because I’m told it is THE best.

CBS would never air such an inference, between episodes of SWAT, Magnum PI and MacGyver.