You're right, we're great.

Contract with America or GTFO.

We will be talking about the VAGINA!

Cracked sort of broke pop culture with After Hours. What is meant to be an extended riff on over-thinking entertainments is now taken as authoritative critique. (Not that I mean that all their points are satire or invalid, but c'mom.)

Or, y'know, it's about people overcoming their insecurities and embracing what makes them unique. But whatever floats your boat, I guess.

He just left in his time machine.

Fun fact: Charlie O'Connell now works at a Krystal Burger.

I went to the doctor, and guess what he told me—GUESS WHAT HE TOLD ME—he said "Girl you better have fun no matter what you do."

Was this thing proofread by translating the text into Japanese, then translating it back into English?

Whenever I hear the phrase "knotted hank of coarse, greasy hair" I think of Jillette.

As for me, I'm headed back to Omaha. I'm driving straight through this time, and I've made only one stop. The impressive new arch over the interstate in Corney, Nebraska.

Our relation to Dave Grohl is that of percept-percipient. Every interaction we have with him is that of our percipient-self interacting with the percept-Grohl. Our percipient-self is the outward, physical receiver, but is not ourself. (Think of how one's ear is the percipient's delivery system for sound to enter our…

Grohl really was the remedy for the over-serious, blase attitude of the mid-nineties. He's someone who has fun making music, and it shows.

The BEST part of waking up, is Folger's in your cup!

*knocks odduck unconscious*

It's all about not getting too many of the z-shaped pieces in a row.

Of penis?

Haha, it's true, we suck!

What were you doing in the airplane bathroom, Charlie?

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