DICK VAN DYKE'S JAGUAR BURST INTO FLAMES BUT IT'S OKAY HE ESCAPED

God dammit, Lindsay. We've watched with glee as you crashed and burned, all while saying "but we were all rooting for you!", made fun of the way drugs ruined your career, appearance, overall appeal, and life, took any opportunity to write gossip articles about you... The least you could do is tell us how many times…

It's entirely possible she only remembers snorting coke 10 or 15 times. Blackouts suck. I only remember doing blow maybe five times, but I probably did it a good deal more before I got sober, especially when I was running around getting blackout drunk with a group of people who always had it on them, which is probably…

This Dirtbag made me feel extra creepy and uncomfortable this morning. The fact that people are giving gaga and hilton attention over this, somehow relating Amanda Bynes sexuality to her psychiatric problems, snarking on Justin Long... I always think of DB's as my light morning coffee reading where I can read stuff…

Looks to me like he's rocking the Edgar from Men in Black ill-fitting skin suit.

You cannot just study everything on your own though.

Seriously - if a medical doctor tells you they bumped their arm, do you believe they are saying it's "data"?

Forever 21 hours a week.

I say so, yes. When you don't have to live with this kind of harassment just because you're a woman (or another minority), it's hard to understand how constant and damaging it is.

1. Buy $300 scarf.

The entire Anna Kendrick - Olivia Wilde convo is gold.

Royal Babies — aka the progeny of a few people who are rich for absolutely no reason — are considerably more popular than just regular celebrity babies.

One of the things I liked about my old part-time survival job was that they knew it was just a job to everyone who worked there, hourly and salaried, because how could it not be? The turnover there was huge on both sides - students would graduate, people using it as a stopover would find better jobs, etc. And they…

Similarly, in job interviews there's this whole bullshit act where both parties pretend that you want to work there for any reason other than to make money.

God, if he ever does a movie where he's the lead and it's a love story of some sort the internet will rupture. His fans already want to bang him like a screen door. If he ever has a genuine Mr.-Darcy-in-the-lake movie moment tumblr will implode.

I've tried, but I just can't ever get tired of Usher's song, "Yeah". It never gets old.

ps. 2006

Oh, you get frustrated, do you? You know what's actually frustrating? Having debilitating fucking menstrual symptoms. Ten years ago, my cramps were so severe I spent the first 48 hours of every menses vomiting up bile between bouts of violent liquid pooping. Pop an ibuprofen? I wish! The amount of red…

If all the bottles in Amanda's hotel room contained Jack Daniels rather than Diet Coke, and if the pot ash and rolling papers covering the desk were actually traces of heroin and burnt spoons, and if the dismantled fire alarm were actually an entire living room set thrown out the window into the pool, possibly…

Thank you for such a thoughtful response, because I was trying to come up with one and my brain was flooded with rage.