it may be better at getting debris and dirty off of your hands than cold water

They may have grit, or they may not. It has nothing to do with having a "rough personality" or how you treat others, just that you're the type of person who sees things through to the end without being distracted or dissuaded. That doesn't immediately imply asshole behaviour, though often people that are driven are…

Personally I think it should say:

Seriously. My laptop crashed after my Applecare ran out, and they still helped me save my files and get it working again, for free.

Also, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety recently released a report on how small cars rate poorly in crash tests. For example, Smart cars often become airborne: