Now they know how the Carolina Panthers feel.

The Streak... is over.

Oh god this is way worse. The absolute temerity of cards fans...

“Is that against company policy?”

My wife and I took over hosting the holiday party after the previous hosts moved away. We usually have some kind of theme, either dress-up or dress-down, whatever we feel like putting out there. Anyway, when my wife gets drunk she likes to play matchmaker with the single people at our parties. As we get older, we have…

Let my grandma try my White Russian, she loved it and had me make her one as well. 7 White Russians later and grandma knocks over the Christmas tree and has to be taken home.

I’ve seen Rob Ryan coach defense. All of his gigs are temporary.

Airing of grievances? Is it Festivus already?

The kids on the playground will be singing “Deen, Deen, rape machine, biggest creep we’ve ever seen,”

Instead of Muslims, we should check at the border if people are NFL fans.

Justice, the German way (post-1945).

The medical community disagrees with you.

Why did the batter start running towards third after the hit?

I don’t care, Dez caught it.

On the downside, we now have an inexplicable, month-long gap between regular season and postseason, during which athletes become rusty and de-conditioned, leading to poor play and increased risk of injury during the biggest games of the season.

“Could be funnier.”

How do you lose a football game 1-0?

This might be the best roundup all year but I think Most Valuable Sign might have to go to the Connor Cook’s mom one. Mom jokes are the most timeless, agressively American form of comedy.

I haven't seen a Longhorn that confused about what to do since Vince Young took the Wonderlic.