The only one of my dogs that cares for a walk is a rottweiler mix- she is unaware of her size and LOVES kids. On several occasions I have had to lecture people’s kids because one ran up from the side and grabbed her by the neck and shouted “DOGGY”. Good Charlotte’s reaction was to sit down and wait for the attention…

You made it all the way through the trailer? Kudos. I had to bail at about the 1:15 mark.

Is your friend Michael Bay? ‘Cause Michael Bay seems to really hate T.J. Miller....

I went to the IMDB page, and the name of the dad spreadin’ Jesus n’ patriotism? Bob Revere. Real subtle, Huck.

I was impressed they were able to oh-so-subtly reanimate Johnnie Cochran to play the role of evil black lawyer with a Jewish name.

He thinks that about everything. This salad is tasty, but it’s missing something... Ah, yes. JAY-SUS.

As my evil job for the day here is the full film for your perusing pleasure.

I legitimately started giggling hysterically watching that.

Yup. Hannity also makes the same type of garbage. Though he got TV’s Hercules to play a version of Dawkins the Christians convert.

I think Sons of Patriarchy would be a better name.

I was recently laid off from Boeing. I have a lot of thoughts but the biggest issue there is absolutely HORRID management. That is killing the company. They don’t know what the fuck they are doing, agree to asinine changes because they don’t have any clue what the area they manage actually does and, despite being…

This is my single most favorite comment on any Kotaku article ever.

If a tree is removed and no one was around to witness it, was it ever really there?

Um...scuse me...it’s Cap’n Crunch.

For real. That’s basically an admission of guilt. He knows he fucked up and is trying to downplay what he actually did.

Pather said that Baril sent a text message to the woman after the alleged assault, writing: “I’m sorry if I got overly excited.”

Could’ve gone my whole life without seeing this, damn.

Well what did she expect, that E.L. James would be well-adjusted? “I like everyone and I get really confused when they don’t like me” is a weird thing to say. Liking someone isn’t reciprocal