“I am dong Spartacus!” “No, I am dong Spartacus!”

Per law, the dogs are required to use the bathroom that corresponds to their breed identity at birth. Which, for most breeds, is anywhere they damn well please.

I AM, in fact, an irritable dad with a law degree, Samer. How did you DO that?

You mean Stevey B?

“the possibility of Pablo Sandoval getting in shape”

Pear is a shape.

Some people divorce their wives to marry someone younger, but I never expected Jon Lovitz to give up Morgan Fairchild for a younger woman.

Somebody needs to teach that kid that you stick with the babe that’s holding you, not the babe you wish were holding you.

I have Sandoval in a rotisserie league and he’s just killing it for me.

Eh...I mean, Pablo claims he was never told to lose weight, while several Red Sox management folk say otherwise. That kind of lying is in disorder territory. And weren’t there rumors that Giants offered Pablo similar money to Red Sox—just with an eating clause triggered to incentives? Again, moving across country just…

Did the approximately five seconds of bliss equal the unknown amount of time spent apologizing? (Probably not.)

that font beat comic sans 105-108

My guess is the trailer was empty, and they actually stuck the warhead in a Honda Civic which drove by ten minutes later.

“I doubt he was allowed to pay for his own meal anywhere in the Bay Area.”

I’m glad someone bespoke up for him.

Rex claimed I.K. because, as we all know, the Enemkpali of our enemy is our friend.

Parent Triage: “Meh, he ain’t gonna get pregnant.”

The Tomb of the Unknown Folder.

Ha! You need a gold star for that!

Made it through by a hare’s breath.