Question: If a woman agrees to have sex with you, and then changes her mind do you think threatening her with a gun and forcing her to have sex anyway is rape?

As a former sex worker, no. That happened to me & I didn’t think of it as rape. If a guy had forced sex on me at gunpoint, that would indeed be rape.

That’s very much not rape. He’s a liar, but not a rapist.

I think rape by fraud makes sense in the situations where they are typically charged - the doctor claiming it was a medical treatment, or the case where the room is dark and the rapist pretends to be the victim’s boyfriend. I don’t think that reasoning should be extended to “I’m a doctor” when they’re actually a…

People are not inherently good. It’s easier to be a lazy, selfish, greedy asshole. We can CHOOSE to try and do good in the world. That's how I get up in the morning (usually).

What a terrible and pitiful idea. “Oh I just slept with you for your money. Wait you’re not rich, RAPE!!!” WTF?

Well, rape by deception is a complicated area. If you tell someone you’ve got six million dollars (and you haven’t), and he sleeps with you in the hope that you’re going to be his sugar mama or daddy, he’s an idiot and you’re a jerk, but it isn’t rape.

there was a rape victim who won a case against the twin brother of her boyfriend who pretended to be the boyfriend to get her into bed. so yes, rape is rape, whether forced or by fraud or deception.

no. Not at all what I am saying. I’m saying that we dilude the meaning of incredibly serious words like rape when we apply them to things like lying to people in order to sleep with them.

An example is if a woman is dating a guy who is a twin. One day the brother tricks her into thinking he is her boyfriend and they have sex. That would be rape by deception.

No, it’s when you force a sex worker into having a sex by pointing a gun at them, then that’s rape.

Darakul - no it is not rape. But every time someone is presented with the options of either be gunned down or have sex (like in this case) it is definitely rape.

How are you not gray?? Gawker! I miss the standards.

She wasn’t in the room so I have no idea if she knows he said it. I also don’t think she gets as mad about things as I do.

I mean, to clarify, this is not something I am discussing purely in the abstract, there have been actual prosecutions for rape by deception. I’m also not saying that everyone who is deceived by a sexual partner is automatically the victim of rape or sexual assault (although I do think that if you trick someone into…

No. The issue is not payment, it’s consent.

There was a study done some years ago that showed a significant number of men polled indicated they would commit rape if they knew they could get away with it.

There are plenty of men who would do that here in the States if they thought they could get away with it. No American exceptionalism, please. It’s extremely dangerous and keeps our problems going.

I just...bleh. I hear the words “acid attack” and I’m like...okay vicious wartime tactic...but I swear part of me just doesn’t comprehend how someone can do that to anything living.

There’s so many lies I tell myself so I can continue to exist in this world without breaking down into a puddle of helplessness. One is that most people are, at their core, good. But shit like this, man... I don’t know.