I’ve had to sit next to one of these fellas. He booked the middle seat. 

I love that we can see the sole of a shoe.

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

Feels like you’re trying to run cover for Cap‘n Crunch

I believe it’s a gel.

I prefer to think of the can as half-full.

That’s why I use coin slot moisturizer.

Re door handles, I have a mortise locking handle (on the entry door to my apartment) that has no visible fasteners and I’d also like to not have the door unsecured while I wait for the paint to dry. 

Thank you for not disappointing.

Do you mean a “Mayon”?

She’s hanging out with the third Cunningham child in an alternate universe.

This is actually the reason why it’s called “air conditioning.” Depending on the locale, to maintain comfortable indoor air (not too humid or dry, not too cold or hot), moisture is often first removed from the air by chilling it and then brought back to an appropriate temperature. It seems counterintuitive, but the…

Definitely looks like a “Steve” to me.

Don’t forget the other wypipo sports: modern pentathlon, equestrian events, and shooting sports.

Because google doesn’t fix stupid.

How did you use 4 masks and no other clothes? 

“Why does this salad taste like I’m tossing salad?”

On astronomic length scales I’m already there!