No, just make a stealthy french exit, but be sure to return in time for dessert.

Put ‘em on the roof. Some (semi-cannibalistic?) pigeons will take care of the rest. 

Don’t forget to crack them and get all that tasty marrow in your stock. A lot of good (tasting, not healthy) fat in the marrow.

Let’s talk indentured servitude!

Herman...

$500 doesn’t even by a dope ass chromebook.

$500 doesn’t even by a dope ass chromebook.

Right here: https://theinventory.com/the-gift-guide-for-the-newly-special-lady-in-your-life-1839720392?ks=leftrailpopular

Right here: https://theinventory.com/the-gift-guide-for-the-newly-special-lady-in-your-life-1839720392?ks=leftrailpop…

“almost never not” = “usually” 

Is weird to ask them to share? I mean, it could be a bonding experience.

Using a seatback tray as a baby changing station. Kid pissed all over the adjacent passenger.

“Flight attendant” is the preferred non-gendered term.

I can fault them for freaking out when they’re told their carry-on is over the size limit. This stuff is posted when you purchase a ticket. Showing up to the airport and playing dumb isn’t a viable excuse. Check it or leave it. 

Was he troubled that the driver refused to drive from the back of the bus? 

How does it taste? Asking for a friend.

How does it taste? Asking for a friend.

moon boots or nickelodeon moon shoes?

Bathtub lady is pretty damn horrifying.

Don’t forget the ‘tuck’

Shoulda signed the ball and given it to him.

It’s Electric! Boogie woogie, woogie!