He did not hit her! He did naaaht!

Every pot has a lid, sure. But it seems this pot hasn’t found a lid in quite some time.

Please keep in mind, that ‘spicy’ is a very subjective term in the upper midwest. To some of them, seltzer is spicy.

It’s in the name: give-a-fucks is the unit of measure here.

It’s all in the eyebrows. Mostly

Chem trails! More like... eh, it’s too obvious.

I believe on the UES, it is spelled Caribbeaner.

Have you tried impolite conversation? It’s often more entertaining.

Why couldn’t Jared have been indicted on her birthday? That would’ve been so great!

“A white elephant is a possession which its owner cannot dispose of and whose cost, particularly that of maintenance, is out of proportion to its usefulness.” -Wikipedia

So much for, “Kids and grown-ups love it so...”

Because it makes my, uh.... my hands look huge.

Because it makes my, uh.... my hands look huge.

“You still not doing your job, per usual?”

Burn Baby Burn!

The excitement in these men’s faces is just exquisite:

I need advice on how to become someone’s schlubby, do-nothing boyfriend. That sounds like a pretty sweet deal!

What will become of all the displaced bodega cats?!