Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Swiftie Motion!

Pictured: Swifties at a concert, trying to protect their identities.

Imagine paying ~$500 a ticket, then believing you need to suffocate under a fleece blanket in the middle of the fucking summer to avoid getting shit-canned.

Executive producers Steve Gaub and Tomek Baginski have promised that there will be a “flawless” transition between the two actors and that it will be “very, very close to the meta ideas which are deeply embedded in the books.”

Indeed, Dave Cornsweat playing a Kansas famer.

Jennifer Lawrence denies a rumor that she’s going to appear in The Hunger Games: The Ballad Of Songbirds And Snakes

Great, now I don’t have to worry about a show I was never planning on watching anyway.

Or an assistant manager at Pottery Barn.

Rivers is looking like a geriatric Garth Algar.

Honey, I Shrunk The Budget For Shitty Josh Gad Movies

Don't mind me, I'm just here to witness the magnificent pile-on.

And look, if Daniel didn’t exist, Henry would have made an excellent Bond

That doesn’t surprise me at all, actually. Many bitcoin bros are.

Drax would’ve not hesitated.

“I don’t know what happens when people get corrupted,” says former drug trafficker Tim Allen.

AI isn’t actually AI, it’s just an advanced predictive text algorithm that regurgitates sentences based on popular sentence formulations.

For what it’s worth, it looks fucking terrible, like the dumpster baby of Skynet and Ed Hardy.

Fuck you and your miserable construction job.

If this was supposed to be a comeback vehicle, the Lawrencessance will have to wait.