WHY DON’T PEOPLE WITH MONEY EVER GO TO DECENT TATTOO ARTISTS

I would never write in Matthew McConaughey because there’s zero chance I would spell his name correctly. 

Crazy fucker rigged a Home Alone trap.

Her dress was fucking awful. She looked like a country bumpkin who’se mother had sewn her a dress for the hoedown.

There’s a lot I love about 80s fashion and I’m a die hard Dynasty fan but I still despise Diana’s wedding dress. It was ugly and tacky even back in the day. The same is true of at least 80% of wedding dresses at any given moment in time but I feel like between 1977 and 1994 it was probably closer to 90%.

Oddly enough, I want Trump’s legacy to be the first US President to die in prison.

Right? Pre-kids, it was all about activities. Going out and doing things with friends as much as humanly possible. Post-kids, I dream of a Home Alone situation but with me being the one left behind.

Fittingly, it sounds like the name of a John Waters character: Dawn Davenport, Tracy Turnblad, and Lindy Lou Layman.

Fun Fact: he’s married.

A lot of people do yeah. People on heroin do it too, which I don’t know if a lot of people know. But meth especially makes you really obsessive so people will do things like obsessively clean or pick at their face. Thankfully I was more the type to obsessively clean my place.

Both these people are awful but I take no joy in art like that being destroyed or damaged.

I was a meth user for quite some time and thank GOD I never picked at my face. I know that sounds shallow but man, that screams meth like no other.

Lindy Lou who?

The saving grace is that Andy Warhol would have loved this story.

“You know, I get that it’s a television show and that they want to show the pain that I’m in,” Herzog said in the interview. “However, what would have happened if I died there? You know, that’s horrifying.”

Thank you! That line was disgusting, and says a lot about the behind-closed-doors “mission” of the show, I think.

Ah hahahaha. And that was a funny rape joke.

Holy fucking shit, Lindy. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Luckily, I doubt the men who made those comments are aware of the vagina's location, so if any of them actually tried to follow through on a rape threat, you'd have time to run away while they were all WHERE'S THE SEX HOLE?

Lindy—I can't even. While I'm sure you are able to wade through this bullshit with aplomb, I offer my angriest GIFs, strongest words of condolence, and raised feminazi fist of solidarity.

What kind of moron uses "You have pubic hair" as a putdown?