My watch didn’t work when I bought it. Not just a dead battery, but warped hands that would catch and get the time stuck at 1:23. The purchase was mainly to have a wrist accessory, so I took out the face and machinery. I call it my placebo watch; when I wear it, I feel like I know what time it is.

I have a sneaking suspicion they wanted to call this film Do The White Thing. #8trackRaheem

Taking oath of office to a whole new level

Sad Opposite Day, everybody!

Roll up the window, limousine driver—

and a lifestyle

My misspelling didn’t help. Yasgur, which is what that gobbletygook I typed was supposed to say, had a 600 acre farm in Bethel, NY, which was the site of the first Woodstock music festival.

A Noble Dog! And one that will have the choice of their prey on Yasgert’s farm. 😊

It’s now pronounced “Benghazi”. The evolution of the English lexicon is always fascinating.

The inconsistency burns. And the Dateline story about the husband putting a hit on his wife through his gym manager is more tolerable for me.

I made it 40 minutes. Christie invoked 9/11, and I was done. Not enough gin to make this tolerable.

Yeah, I think we need to bring back village idiots so we can get some homes set up. I mean, it’d just be cruel to let them wander the streets or get put down in a shelter...

Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare...

It’s a vast network of nerves, constantly processing information. Donald Trump may see you as one of the Lizard People, but Donald Trump’s hair sees you as a series of ones and zeros.

Off by thirty-five K’s

DOUCHEQUAKE!

“Helping the poor” do what? Grow beaks for eating honey?

One summer at Scout camp, our site was hit with an insect infestation of plague-like levels. These fucking bugs came out at night and would chew us up. Escape was possible by ducking completely inside the sleeping bag, but heat and lack of oxygen would get the better of me, and so I resigned to getting bitten.

Even more fun—listening to “Strange Fruit” or “Mississippi Goddam”.

Any similarity between Donald Trump and a human being is purely coincidental.