Does the Dolphins quarterback steer US foreign policy? It would explain a lot.
I don’t get all the hate on Buffalo. While I was visiting I got lost after getting spectacularly intoxicated and someone got shot two blocks from my hotel. It was all very exciting.
The man arrested In Lucky’s place was his snooty older brother Fortuitous.
Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.
Two Samwells, One Cup.
I just hope Dianne Wiest can work out his psychological issues before Game 1 of the World Series.
You’ve really got to stop trying to fuck Cousins like that.
I’m so mad at OoT, and I’m not even the one suffering from the misfortune of being married to him.
Fox News is already declaring this a War on Rasmus
A sandwich has two pieces of bread, right? If I’m “sandwiched” between a wall and a filing cabinet, crying out in panic because there’s nobody in the office at 1:30 in the morning — because why would there be, and isn’t the simplest solution just to pay for faster internet at home instead of going back to work after…
Joey Chestnut looks like Peter Thiel if he ate hotdogs instead of children.
Did his parents send him to Earth from their dying planet named Curveballton?
My man loves the movie ‘The Usual Suspects,’ but hates that you never learn who Keyser Söze is.
He may be a cheapskate, but I totally get why Jeter wants his shot to be in control. The guy spent his entire career as #2.
Coaches were at a loss to explain whose fault the play was, since the players are all nice boys from good families.
I recognized 2: Blake, and Yoda.
I did not expect to read a discussion on 90's sitcoms S&P’s re amphetamines in an article about base running. Earth is full of wonders.
MLB SPRINT SPEED: BROUGHT TO YOU BY SPRINT. SPRINT: “ISN’T THAT THE ONE WITH THE VERIZON GUY? OR WAS THAT THE PINK ONE?” WITH SPEEDS UP TO 5G-LTEGBTQ ITS A HOME RUN FOR THE AMAZING NEW IPHONE SO LONG AS YOU ARE WITHIN 500 FEET OF A PRIMARY TOWER OTHERWISE YOU BASICALLY OWN AN IPOD TOUCH. SPRINT: “I’M BEHIND ON MY…