I have a daughter with a birth defect who feeds through a g tube. Because of her birth defect, she doesn’t burp. I simply affix a plungerless syringe in her extension (line between bag and button and open ‘er up.

I once had a job working with a man who had behavioral issues that involved vomiting, urinating and/or defecating everywhere, tearing all of his clothing off and then becoming extremely violent. Great guy most of the time, and I love him to death. He’s particularly fond of my dog, who also really likes him despite…

Reminds me of the last fight I got in. This guy at a bar was looking at me. So I said, “What the fuck you looking at asshole?” He looks at me and says, “Nothing.” I stood up. “Damn right, you better not be.” This guy had no business fucking with a guy like me, so I said, “ You have no business fucking with a guy like…

It’s funny reading these replies from people in their 20's who think that people in their 40's secretly yearn to still go to college bars and get fucked every night.

Mariah Carey: [“Just don’t get any better!”]

I’m going to change my name to “3-1 lead”. Im going to get blown so much more.

What are those?

Being a shitty QB does not exclude Dilfer from commenting on this issue.

I’ve never been more excited to be wrong.

Now we have no Jobs, no Hope, and no Virgilbag.

When it comes to chugging beer thrown at/to you from the crowd, nothing will ever, EVER top this.

You’re not wrong about Ray Lewis. He’s definitely a cut above the rest.

You spelled “ex-boyfriend" wrong.

D’oh Canada

Stay on the easy bracket? And dishonor their Viking ancestors feasting and battling in the halls of Valhalla? This is peasant speech. In the hearts of every Englishman and Frenchman beats the ancient fear of longships spotted on the horizon, coming their way.