Sessions is still just angry that they only sell him drink by half pints in the Shire Department of Justice.
Area Woman
areawoman
on a cross country drive, i got to my hotel in indiana. i asked where i could find a beer close by. upon finding out i could not buy beer on sunday, i turned around and drove back to kentucky.
lightning quick reflexes — he heard the noise behind him and was gonna jump the mother humping threat but you see the Secrets wisely pulled him back from opening up a can of Hugely Big WhupAss.
Pete Souza heard!
““You don’t know until you test it, but I think, I really believe I would have run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon,”
Shit. He can’t even descend stairs without stepping on each one with both feet before continuing down to the next, like toddlers do it.
Trump looks like he loses his breath every time he reaches for his wallet. Where the fuck is he going to run to, besides a bucket of KFC?
The first person to die in the 9/11 attacks was a former Israeli Special Forces soldier who tried to stop the hijackers. Marky Mark needs to shut the fuck up.
“I NEED DARK ROAST!!!!.....but, y’know, not too dark.”
I’ve had a shit day and that was the first laugh I had. I sent a screengrab of your comment to Mr. WeezerLou and he said,”I bet he honestly believes he would. And that no bullet would hit him, with his moves like Bruce Lee. All in his vanilla soft-serve ice cream head.”
It’s hard to sleep at night when you’re haunted by the disgusting things you do every day.
Well, masturbating to ICE raid videos on YouTube would make anybody tired.
Who says that there’s no rest for the wicked?
This story doesn’t have a happy ending. It seems that he woke up.
And Mother says no pepperoni on that supreme. Italian cured meats will rile up the blood and cause sex thoughts.
I can’t believe a Sr. VP didn’t have a non-compete.
Best advice is to treat every date meal as though a ring may be hidden within one of the dishes. Everyone expects the champagne or the delicious chocolate cake to contain the ring. Mix it up! Maybe your partner put it in a potsticker. Or a pot roast!
Oh god. Just reading the headline set my teeth on edge. As a small child in the 70's, I can remember my mom trying to foist that crap on me. “It’s just the same as chocolate. You’ll like it.” Hell no, it wasn’t the same. Bleh. I have to go brush my teeth now, just to get the memory of the taste out of my mouth.