“McDonald’s Japan had a sweet idea to promote its new summertime McFizz drinks...”

Somehow the use of Comic Sans is like the 30th most offensive thing about that letter...

It’s the kind of joke that’s easy to do badly and still get laffs, but you did it really well.

There I was, behind center for the Buffalo Bills. What madness led to this I had no time to ponder. As the supple leather of the ball slid into my hand, I took one step back, then two, then three. As I surveyed the field for potential recipients, I saw an outside linebacker charging like an angry rhino directly at my…

She’s asked if we can go to another game. I don’t know whether to be happy she likes football or worried she wants to be a Bills fan.

I’m a Lions fan living in NW PA. I took my family (including my 12 year old daughter) to the Lions/Bills game last year. Within 150ft of where we parked the car, she saw 2 keg stands and a drunken woman writhing in the mud. My wife gave me a furious look and all I could do was shrug my shoulders and mumble “Bills…

I hope does the “poops out the football” move, and he has a picture of Eli Manning and Gettleman hugging that he wipes his ass with.

“ ... other WYTS columns include jokes; this one is just a list of facts.”

Lol, I wrote this and I’m dumb, never write emails high kids, or else you will be ripped to shreds by internet commentators. 

if its not Sicilian, it shouldn’t be cut into squares. end of discussion.

The moat-and-wall thing was settled hundreds of years ago. It goes in front for a good reason.

That was su-su sussudio good.  have a star.

Dear Penthouse,

hiring this guy as bullpen coach was a mistake

And that's not the only reason he shouldn't be on this list.

bicyclist don’t stop for cars and don’t stop for pedestrians...

This is a red herring.  Cops park in driving lanes, too. They park on the sidewalk. They do whatever the hell they want.

Drivers and Police get grumpy with them because they (cyclists) only follow the laws of traffic when it suits them. Run a red light or stop sign, no problem i’m a bike i can do it. Cross multiple lanes of traffic at once, “it’s ok i’m on a bike”. Ride between the lines of cars stopped in heavy traffic or at alight,…

Nobody cares that you’re scared of girls.

It’s only a small failure because they’re staring at their phones. Anything Christopher Meloni is in is good watching, and your daughters have excellent taste.