I can’t decide whether to +1 dipped toon or -1 LA streetcar.

Wait until he reveals his plan for CloverLeaf Industries

I was just joking with a friend about how stupid bulletin board material is. I’m going to assume that everybody in the NFL is properly motivated all the time. Oh now you’re going to try to win? Before you were happy to maybe beat the spread, but now it’s personal. You’re going to chew tape angrily.

Does your wife know he went to Harvard? 

The one thing Eli can hang his hat on is being the Brady killer. If nothing else, he should be remembered for that.

The Toadies, the answer is the Toadies.

I was surprised recently to discover that Violent Femmes are no longer my jam. Didn’t see that one coming.

This ages me massively, but The Cult were a very underrated rock band.

They are possibly the most overrated band of the 90s

I had an entire take on Bush that was about how our inability to continue to hate them meant we transferred that hate to Nickleback, then realized I was confusing Bush for Creed, and really, that’s as insulting as it can get.

I like that analogy.

They should have told the Kent State administration to fuck off and kept playing. I mean, what are they gonna do about it, call in the National Guard?

Look, if I answer any more questions in this thread I’m gonna have to start charging you. I’m a working musician, unlike all the lawyers who lurk in the Deadspin comments who love doing pro boner work.

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

And yet I read this feature ever time, knowing I’ll yet again be destroyed by the fucking morons that share my citizenship. 

yeah, everyone knows there are no racists in Pennsylvania

There’s no way Trump's favorite president isn't Trump

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

I respect your commitment to big boy accuracy

Hope his okay now. My aunt lost the tip of her pinkie in a horrific stamping accident. She will never sip tea the same way again.