Dad?

And the dreaded bat wings.

Also, PMI usually varies based on how close you are to 20% equity. Put 3% down, and you're going to be paying a lot. Once you are at 17 or 18% equity, you are still paying PMI but it is very little (relatively speaking, of course).

Also, sellers are more likely to reject your offer if you put very little down. Theoretically it should not make a difference, but it does. High loan-to-value ratios are more likely to get held up in underwriting, and are therefore buyers with these mortgages are less attractive to sellers.

Please. That's nothing. You don't realize how luck you are.

Agreed - those are great tools.

Me too. I recently went to change out a fixture on the exterior of the house, and switched off the breaker on the circuit I figured it was on. Checked — yep, no power in the line coming out of the house. It turns out that there was no power in the line because the other end of the line was an unplugged extension cord.…

Me too. I recently went to change out a fixture on the exterior of the house, and switched off the breaker on the circuit I figured it was on. Checked — yep, no power in the line coming out of the house. It turns out that there was no power in the line because the other end of the line was an unplugged extension…

Color us impressed.

...which he disagrees with on religious grounds.

Drinking milk as an adult is fucking weird and makes you feel like shit.

Reading this makes me feel lazy.

Exactly. Even better is to calculate cost per square foot of toilet paper or paper towel. The total square feet is noted right there on the label.

And this:

According to Amontons' Law of Pressure-Temperature

A better option — delay the family visit until January. Sure, the weather is still shitty, but no crowds to compete with. This strategy has served me well for the past 10 years. After the first couple of years, the family won't even expect you at the holidays anymore, so no guilt.