9-3 and they were eliminated by week 16. It was a full-on meltdown.

It's a stretch, but I like it.

Yup! Poodles are the most bite-prone popular breed in America today. Labs are also prone to bites. But nope, let's all focus on pit bulls.

Frat bros worried that athletes may rape a woman. That's fucking rich.

Honestly, anything west of the Appalachians and east of the Rockies, but above Texas, is the Midwest to me. Flyover states. Ooohhhh sorry, Oklahoma, that I called you the Midwest. What I should have said is "states that no one wants to ever step foot in."

Woops! Confused them. Pardon me, I tend to lump together shitty Midwestern state schools.

This was great. They should make those frat douches sing their song in front of the OSU football team in a closed room. I'd like to see how funny that song would be then.

Thanks for the history lesson!

A large number of Philly fans and writers are bending over backwards to try to justify these moves, but I'm not buying any of it for one second. You can't get rid of LeSean, DeSean and Maclin on offense in two years (that's two years in a row the Eagles have lost their leading receiver) and not blink. If this is how…

Zarya, I want you to come spot me when I bench!

I like her. I want her to work out with me.

Every school? Maybe you mean ever D1 school. My alma mater definitely did not. I'd see coaches lurking around outside lecture halls to make sure their athletes were all attending.

Ah yes! Shitty parenting. Let's blame the dog.

I was taught that by Gunpowder Bison Trading Company in Baltimore County, Maryland where I used to buy all my bison meat and bison products. My wallet is bison leather. Bison! Bison bison bison.

Fucked up, but I laughed out loud.

Thanks for the tip. I'll have to try this out. I stopped drinking.

staggering outside in the predawn gloaming with a buffalo hide wrapped around his shoulders

Watch out for Tracy Porter, too.

Well, let's not brush past the torn ACL like it's nothing. It's his second. In the long-term it may be a good trade, but are you an Eagles fan?

This is the current working theory of many beat writers.