You're incredibly brave for sharing this, Penny. Fuck all the people who are responding with chips on their shoulders. Massive hugs your way!

Penny, I've been following your posts for years. You've always been the one to flog yourself first, something these strangers would never know. I guess they read your post as somehow boastful, and clearly they're carrying their own baggage in their replies.

Penny, I'm sorry people are piling on you and the 'bad mother' implications are beyond gross. The only two people who know what was going on in that relationship were you and your ex. Jenna was right on with the 'settling' pressure that society puts on women, mothers in particular. You're not a bad person, you're not…

My gut instinct wants couples to stay together, I came from a fractured home and growing up didn't understand why life was so chaotic and why mom and dad weren't always both around. My head on the other hand respects your decision a lot.
The reality for my family is that my mother not being a part of my life was…

Thanks for replying to my post. Just to be sure, I was in no way saying your situation was equivalent to my theoretical one. I simply replied to your OP because it was a general response to many sentiments in this thread. It was attempting to show that reductive advice shouldn't be applied to everything.
The truth is,…

It's funny how other people around the world starve to death everyday on the two most abundant resources on earth, light and air.

Yeah, I never meant to imply you were a bad mother, although I can see why you took it that way. Sometimes I have strong emotional reactions and reply in haste, and my response sounds overly mean or personal. This was one of those times. I've watched multiple people close to me leave devoted partners during a routine…

Putting my frustration at how this thread went aside, I'm sending a long-distance anonymous commenter hug your way - I don't think your first comment was crass at all, just open-ended, which shouldn't invite such vitriol, IMO. If this were the real, regular world, most people would engage in a back-and-forth…

I have "known" you for so many years, and this comment really resonated with me. My five-year relationship broke up under similar circumstances a little over a year ago. The breakup was very hard and I still haven't really developed the vocabulary to talk about it. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to…

Hey, I was the person who made the "fresh dick" comment (and I guess some other people agreed with me and also piled on you). I made it to another commenter as a general statement about people I see throwing good relationships away for frivolous reasons and it wasn't meant as a direct personal attack against you, but…

*I* appreciate your candor. I have been mesmerized by this thread all day, although I haven't responded until now. I think it was obvious in your first post that you were still second-guessing your decision, but at the end of the day, we each have one life to live, sometimes we take a leap of faith, and sometimes we…

LoL! I've got three kids, every time I see a baby my ovaries tingle. Side effect of being a mom, I guess.

I wonder how some around here feel about the stereotypical 50-year-old man leaving his 50-year-old wife because he no longer feels attraction or passion towards her, then starting to date 20-somethings. Do the "love yourself" and "do what makes you happy" philosophies still apply there?

I wrote my comment before the majority of pile-on even happened, but I had a feeling it would. I think some people are assuming that you cheated on your husband with the person you felt passionately about then ditched your family, which is a trigger to many. I have no idea what went down, because no one can tell the…

I am really glad I read all of your comments. I am in the midst of relationship questioning and have been looking for signs everywhere; this was really helpful to read. I hope everything goes smoothly with your life!

I don't get it- why are people marrying or whatever with a partner to whom they are not attracted? Or even one who you can predict will become undesirable in firly short order (check out the Mom/Dad!).

You know, I didn't really care one way or the other until people started telling you that you were wrong. I grew up with parents that had a lot of baggage and it sucked. I don't know the extent, or the specifics, to this day, but I do know that you have to make the choices that are best for you. Maybe they are "right"…

Penny,

I had a similar arc as yours. I'd married young to a wonderful guy, and then in my early 30s I panicked because I thought I'd somehow missed the boat on the whole mind-blowing sex and romantic kisses in the pouring rain thing. Of course, the "passionate" guy I jumped into the arms of came with a heaping helping of…

I think your therapist suggestion is a really good one.