Maybe the bandaged dancers are mummies. The football game already had an Indians vs pirates Peter Pan feel to it, and adding a mirror maze, a giant The Weeknd kaiju in a city, and an army of marching mummies takes it to a Jonny Quest level.

Ah, the Paramount Network. That explains how it can have been on for three seasons and earned a spin-off and I’ve never heard of it.

She should have used it on some of the undead around her. Skeletons take extra damage from bashing weapons.

What we really need to see is a two-hour argument between the movie versions of Superman, Batman, and Shazam over who’s the more authentic orphan. They’ve all lost their biological parents, but then things get tricky.

Tolver’s being an ass, but I’m not totally convinced he’s in the wrong here. Weaver’s not an elected member of the council. She’s an “acting clerk” that was appointed by the councillors who called the meeting. Whether they have the legal authority to do any of that is at the heart of the matter.

Maybe there could be some wizard magic in there that could pull Mark Hamill’s animated Joker into the live-action world like Who Framed Roger Rabbit? And some CGI Heath Ledger and Cesar Romero, moustache and all. Top it off with some Jack Nicholson, and you’ve got Shazam 2: The Joker’s On You.

Such a shame. I was hoping Supes could lift the mood by telling the story about his dad eating hero cake while the horses drowned and then wrap things up by telling Billy that he doesn’t need to save a bus full of kids if it might reveal his powers.

This might make up for the disappointment I experienced when I discovered that The Vagina Monologues was not a ventriloquism act.

Holland’s in his 20s, so he’d be perfect for a CW series about Bond during his early secondary (high school) years.

He has an autotuned robot voice, so I’m voting for he’s trying to become Vision.

Will Lil Yachty be autotuned all the way through the movie, too?

But isn’t the novel already a Western about people living on the fringes of society?

Maybe Neill was playing Bragi, the god of skalds and poetry, and Bragi occasionally comes to Midgard in the guise of Sam Neill.

I’m only going to watch this if Punky’s children are named Rappish, Emoesque, and Growly and they have personalities and performances that match their names.

Well, kind of. As I recall, her whoom was quite polluted.

Maybe this time around, they’ll include ALL of Martin’s children.

I’ve always liked the Serenading Unicorn Juicy Fruit ad version:

He’s probably going to get a disciplinary write-up from the Herb on Monday morning for not linking to several old articles hit pieces about Uber or gig delivery companies.

I feel cheated that I didn’t get a teaser for the trailer for the ad for the ad a couple weeks ago.

I hope they all re-discovered that because they have about 50 minutes to wrap it up for the season.