In Soviet Empire Stormtroopers shoot YOU!

Dwayne Johnson

The Clone Wars is still in canon, so Joy is as well.

No, see, the canon actually says that only Jedi can make lightsabers. Other 'Force sensitives' don't use them, and Sith have to corrupt crystals they steal from the Jedi (or synthesize, but that's apparently part of the old EU too). For that matter a Jedi can only make a lightsaber when the Force/crystals want them…

One that just ejected from a crashing TIE-Fighter with only the clothes on his back and ended up in a scavenger settlement where people don't leave blasters lying around for people to steal? Where do you expect him to have magically conjured a blaster?

He didn't have a blaster until he grabbed the one from the Stormtrooper. He was ransacking tents on Jakuu looking for one. If you pay attention he actually leaves the one Han gave him on the ship of the people he was about to run away with before he realizes the First Order is attacking. He doesn't have a weapon…

Palpatine didn't become Emperor by giving into the basest human emotions.

Mainly because most of his fights involve not having a weapon or only having a lightsaber which he's not trained to use. There's a point during the pirate bar battle where he grabs a stormtrooper blaster and suddenly becomes ten times more competent. I thought it was a nice touch, honestly. He's heavily trained in…

That was Watto.

It's hilarious to judge Obama by % of GDP given that Bush 2 was the only president to SHRINK the GDP right before Obama took office, which accounts for that. The simple fact is that you can talk about ACA all you want, but Bush 2 created an entire new freaking cabinet level executive department for the express…

Bush 2 increased government spending by 46%. Reagan increased it by 19%. Those are the two highest in the past fifty years, with the next being Ford at 9%. To his credit, the President who increased the size of government the least was Bush 1, though that still doesn't change the fact that just Bush 2 increased…

Chewbacca is the only alien on the Rebel side seen until Return of the Jedi, and he's not even a Rebel, he's Han's co-pilot and was going to leave with Han at the beginning of Empire anyway. The Rebellion was 100% human and shown to be willing to work with aliens for ANH and Empire…and the Empire was shown to be…

The ACA was just a rebranded version of Romney's health care.

The funny thing is that nobody is even advocating deregulation, limited government, or free markets. Tariffs are the exact opposite of free markets, being a form of market regulation. And the largest expansions of government are always under Republican administrations because they love to create entire new agencies…

He's specifically referring to Russia. You missed the joke.

The important thing is that you've found a way to feel superior to both.

That's exactly how their Starbucks "boycott" was organized. They're boycotting Starbucks by going into Starbucks and buying coffee and demanding the cashier refer to them as Trump.

You're giving him too much credit on the shower part, I think.

The human supremacist part is just the old EU stuff. It was never canon. The Empire in the movies never says word one against aliens. Palpatine's chief advisor is that horned blue-skinned alien, the Empire has that long-snouted informant in A New Hope. The Rebels have Admiral Akbar (and his crew) and Lando's…

The peace of the grave!