Girl, who ever you are. I want to take you out for drinks in acknologement of your smoothness, that this girl has always wanted to pull off, but never can. But you do, and do and do it so fine, I’ll pay you for lessons!!!!

Oh damn, I’ll have to miss it. I’m finishing up binge watching Flesh and Bones. It’s depressing and the characters are fucked up but it’s like fucking Mary Poppins shit compared to those Bozos.

I miss the Automat.

I was really hard pressed to find one pair of shoes on their website that I would actually wear, much less buy. Their whole line up looks like it was designed by stoned middle-schoolers.

YEZZZ!

The perp -

THE BOOTS, THE BOOTS, THE BOOTS!!!!!

I bet anything my brother is actually using this app.

It’s best not to have cats in the same house with you after you die.

WHERE ARE THE KITTEN GIFS? WE NEED THEM NOW!

All social services in the US are a joke.

Umm, excuse me, but my mom, aunts, and uncles lived through the war and they are still here. And there are a LOT of people around older than them. Time for a time check.

My cat always follows me into the loo too. Weird.

Felons are not barred from voting in all states, and in some states where convicted felons are barred they can and do get their right to vote reinstated.

Laudanum has always sounded to me like it would be a mother’s best friend. Sign me up anytime!

RiteAid on Cape Cod had their Xmas shit out the day AFTER LABOR DAY!

But your “extra brains” hang between your legs, and they don’t count, even though they influence most of your thinking.

My son’s 13. I feel your ewwww pain. On the other hand (that came out wrong), he would think that penis shaped candy is hysterical. So would every other self-respecting adolescent male. Something’s wrong with that woman’s nephew.