in the parallel universe in which I actually own an Hermes scarf, I probably would have so much money that I wouldn't really give a fuck if I ruined it. Hermes scarf filled with cronuts, Birkin bag to carry my cat, wearing Minolos to hike through a muddy trail, put my Burberry raincoat down over a puddle for an…

I would never do such a horrible thing to any of my Hermes scarves...they were way too expensive for that.

1. Buy $300 scarf.

I WANT HER SKIN.

I don't really know what to say about it but I noticed it too. I only saw the movie once, but weren't the only Asian characters the crazy uptight roommate (and her band of silent Asian friends) and the one girl who couldn't talk louder than a whisper? WTF PITCH PERFECT

A bit off topic but I love how all (or almost all) of Jezebel has decided to call Suzanne by her name and not "Crazy-eyes" because she doesn't like it.

Hmm, stop-and-frisk is all gravy for Kumar until his ass gets flagged by TSA at checkpoint for "looking suspicious".

Re: Kate Gosselin. While I know the kids are school aged, it just might not be practical for her to be "current" nurse. Nurses normally work 12 hour shifts, so she'd have to arrange child care for them before and after school, and I can't imagine that's cheap. I'm not saying we should all feel sorry for her, but I…

I was just discussing Kate Gosselin and how she went through all that money with friends. Everybody laughs at Mama June on Honey Boo Boo, but from what I can tell she's squirreling that away for when the camera's aren't there.

Huh. That kitten has my flirting technique.

Some red wines do well with just a bit of a chill, but not as much as you'd give a white. Of course, my favorite sommelier says, "drink what you like, how you like it, and ignore the haters".

I don't know. I liked her character. I know that she's not the greatest actress with the most emotion or anything, but I think that's kind of how Alex is and that she was kinda perfect for the role. Plus, there's so much back story with her and I was really enjoying where it was going with her in the last few…

Nick Carter, can you just let me peacefully forget I placed my bets on you over Timberlake back in 1999?

OMG but what if they make us follow her stupid terrible life at home! And more Larry!! GOD LARRY WHY DON'T YOU JUST SWALLOW YOUR OWN DAMN TONGUE ALREADY.

Hopefully this means more Suzanne, Sophia, and Daya! Actually all of them. Even Pennsatucky. I found her story very compelling and the actress did a hell of a job with that character.

PLEASE LET PIPER BE NEXT PLEASE.

If a lady is grinding her parts on your crotch im pretty sure thats consensual. Wether you cum or not doesnt matter. No one us using or busing anyone without their awareness. Its not like if you don these things strippers will unknowingly grind on your junk.

I get the feeling that if a stripper is grinding on a guy hard enough for him to orgasm then, lapdance pants or not, it doesn't count as the guy "masturbating on her". I mean, maybe it's unethical for her employer to make her do that to keep her job, maybe it's unethical for poverty and an inadequate welfare state to…

"Hi honey, I'm home. What's this? Oh, those are the jizz-catching shorts I wear when I blow a load in my pants at the local titty bar, no biggie. What's for dinner?".....a conversation that has and never will happen in reality.

From a recent post on the Liquid Lapdance blog about the "experience they're trying to create here":