Just when I think your jokes can’t get better, you just keep going... and going... and going...

“Like I told Zeke this morning, don’t worry about any of this, they don’t make batteries domestically anymore”

- Emmitt Smith

That’s a great picture of Elliott. That’s the face one makes looking out the window during a rain storm while pining for a lost love in a R & B video.

I’d pay $100 just to see Obama, for once, answer a question about one of these inane ‘controversies’ with the “Jesus, who the fuck CARES?” that it deserves.

LET’S MESS WITH TEXAS

Seriously, Taco trucks on every corner is the “chicken in every pot” for 2016. If voting Hillary gets you that, we are looking a Reagan level landslide.

Don't you dare talk about Whataburger or its wrappers that way.

A) this is spot on

Found the never-nude.

He can spend more time baking now.

According to sources, the injury can be traced to earlier in the preseason when his mother was seen stepping on a crack in the sidewalk.

Innocent minorities are shot almost daily on the south side. But now we give a shit because she’s related to somebody famous. Fuck this city.

Goddamn that's a fantastic pull. P57 4 lyfe.

Spoiler alert: Dak dies, and then gets stepped on by an AT-AT walker for good measure.

That didn’t work out so well for Dak last time...

Dak feels like he could take on the entire Empire himself!

This is also a reference to Madball:

If you insist on recognizing the official name, you could still shorten it to “The Gary”