I would just do the drop gut, fucking own it man. Looking like Humpty Dumpty and Tweedledee's forsaken love child is not a look that screams "dignity".

Okay, is there a petition I can sign to stop the influx of assholes into WI? It used to be when we embarrassed ourselves we could at least say "but the people are nice", now it's more like a half hearted mumble of "the beer's still good."

I had a comment blocked trying to discuss an episode of South Park that used the word freely. I only used it twice in a long post (once as how a British person might ask for cigarette), but they're word filters not "words in context" filters, I guess.

He's Kompothecras Alex and he just really likes killing sharks. Oh boy, there he goes killing sharks again. (I'm sorry, I bury existential sadness inside pop culture references. This guy sucks, possibly has a personality disorder.)

I've run into problems with pretty much any strongly flavored ingredient (salt, spices, peppers, garlic, herbs, etc). I also don't know the scientific behind it, and I just have to continually add and taste with those things.

"Hey guys, our chat simulator is just spitting out highly repetitive nonsense about balls. The boss is gonna have our asses for this one."
"Um, what if we tell him it invented its own language beyond comprehension?"
"Brilliant! 3 day weekend for everyone!"

I was wondering why they didn't show the new more efficient way of communicating and it turns out robots distilled the language of 2 people negotiating into:

Nah, blowjobs are for the alley out back, so the livestream cam can see you.

I'll never stop loving stories that read "Mooch is stomping down on leaks according to anonymous sources".

My favorite were the awkward artists trying to sell their paintings. Being WI, it was like 80% wolves being dramatic and the rest was a random mix of fruit bowls, planets, and marbles. We have good artists, they just weren't on PBS in the 90s.

Well, you see, in 8 years when we decide this was all stupid, it will help shut down the next wave of stupid with a giant "I told you so" banner, much like how when conservatives started blaming democrats for the Iraq war and your head didn't explode.

Crippling insecurity is like our captcha.

Right? I choose the path of bitter loneliness. You never fail if you don't try, much less if you try twice! *sobs, scrolls through Humane Society adoption page*

You don't have to, Semantics Dome is all you need. (I thought of Templeton and Charlotte arguing over how people would interpret the phrases they found in magazines such as "crunchy", but this show has also taught us if you overthink the references you're a real piece of shit.)

Well… it was a late summer night when I first met him. The leaves had not yet begun to turn, yet their edges were brittle from the day's heat. He had the overwhelming confidence of a man secure in the knowledge of his charm and smoldering good looks. His hands were large and strong, yet gentle. He calmly guided me to…

I love Patinkin as an actor, but his singing does nothing for me. *ducks*
(I'll admit I should revisit that show, but it has an unfortunate connection to a major heartbreak for me… coincidentally with a college educated man with a swagger in his walk and wisps of hair creeping across his chest.)

A local gay bar made their bathrooms non-gender specific, which really just caused a lot of confusion as to which bathroom was for peeing and which one was for drug use.

As a child I was obsessed with the Great TV auction, watched it all day. I was giddy just to meet the presenter when I picked up my "winnings" (I think it was a decorative wall sconce… aka reason #1566 for my parents to believe they were never getting a daughter-in-law).

Something something horseshoes/high heels. Someone make that work.

Rumer looks exactly like the product of her parents. Unfortunately Demi Moore's face on Bruce Willis' head makes her look like one of those Conan "If they mated" mash-ups.