Cool Rider is a decent song, but I still find it absolutely hilarious at the end when Michelle Pfieffer is just hoppity dancing away in broad daylight through people just going about their day, literally spelling out her desires. "C-O-O-L, R-I-D-E-R!!" And everyone is either ignoring her or looking vaguely confused.

Clearly you have no idea how politics work in America. Agreeing with Trump, honestly. If Trump tweets the sky is blue at 9, you need to write 3 think pieces on how it's actually cerulean by 9:15.

I was surprised Billy Eichner ended up with the most nuanced performance and likable character, both of which would have gone to Cobie Smulders but then that Cayman episode had to happen.

I would say that performance makes me like him and by extension everything he does less. I need to wipe my mind clean of that show is what I'm saying.

I find it somewhat unexpected with all the animals gay men have requisitioned for slang, it's mixed gender couples that laid claim to unicorn.

Everything you do is pointless, futile, and will end in death, and the world could at any moment without anyone asking for your input, so might as well try to make things pleasant helped me clutch to the last glimmer of hope during my depressive episodes.

Cat's Cradle was that for me, with Sirens being a very close second.

That little nose kiss thing Rizzo did killed me. I shamelessly steal that bit whenever I manage to piss off a friend (although I changed it to a light kiss on the shoulder).

"God save my little broken body!" is still a favorite exclamation of mine.

Well, that explains my homosexuality.

I had a lady order French Onion soup hold the onions because she was
"allergic". She got pissed when I told her she had ordered a piece of
cheese toast and, no, we couldn't "strain the onions out" because she
had told me she had an allergy and we were now liable. I do not miss
food service. `

I like to think it was one of Jerry Smith's desperately flailing product pitches. Of course, this shows imagination/creativity so it must be an alternate reality Jerry.

I'll also address the "first time parent" part of my comment by pointing out it usually first timers who ask questions like "Is my kid developing a refined palette?" whereas third and fourth timers aren't usually too concerned about anything beyond the kid's continued existence (hence the proliferation of "easy-sell"…

Oh believe me, I did not mean that as a critique on Phoebe (I unironically love her), I just meant that the show felt a need to adhere to that formula and then didn't bother to figure how the formula works.

I once had a customer ask me what pistachio flavored Vodka tasted like. I, being the professional I am, started trying to describe what a Pistachio tastes like before being interrupted with a haughty "I know what a Pistachio tastes like".

Fair enough, I was being overly reductive. Though the author seems to have no idea how the restaurant business works (and actively distrusts what the professional chefs tell him for some reason).

Congrats, you've a won a Coke and a Lisa Frank sticker! Report to the Office of Internet Prognostication for your reward. You've also been noted in the ledger at the Department of Nothing's Too Cynical to Come True.

Ah yes, the eternal question of first time parents, "Why doesn't the world bend to the whims of my specific parenting style?"

Great! I'll pick you up at 9 so we'll have plenty of time to catch dinner before the club opens.

It's a great place to go when you feel you have too much money and hearing ability but not enough STDs.