It's vulnerable like a dog. But tough like a dog with a machine gun. Now it's time for that razor backed dog to spread its wings and fly.

Maybe, given the intense effort it seems to take to wiggle your arms and sort of hop in those costumes, if the air supply fails the winded performers will die pretty quickly. Maybe it's happened before.

According to Taco Bell, "Burrito is the New Taco!". I saw that on a giant sign and was too offended to even look up what that could possibly mean.

I was saying boo-r… ah whats the point, I'm getting drunk *looks at what's left of home bar* on sloe-gin and absinthe apparently.

I had no idea until a guy I met at my first gay bar decided to be my gay mentor, a role he referred to as "douche mother". I asked why the name and then, yeah, I learned a lot of things that day…in graphic, honest, hands-on detail.

I still shout "I need an old priest and a young priest!" when something starts malfunctioning. Honestly, I had forgotten it was even an Austin Powers reference.

If in doubt, guess The Simpsons. Or Norm MacDonald. Norm MacDonald quotes seem to rule what can be guessed around here.

Haha, right? I mean everyone knows what a chainsaw is. Someone should explain what it is though, just in case someone here doesn't know and is too embarrassed to ask.

I could see myself wearing these anywhere from Fire Island to the other side of Fire Island.

I have a friend who told me "you know that's fake, right?" when I told him I had partially spent my day off watching Blue Planet.

And like every commenter beaten to the punch, we must settle for granting a spiteful upvote.

Not defending like, on trial defending himself. He's selling a product that people are saying is too stupid to buy. He would like to sell more product so he says product is not too stupid to buy, in its defense, so as to convince more people to buy the product. As long as there have been stupid products, there has…

Also used to serve brunch and yes, fuck tea. Great, I'll just go in the back, measure out loose leaf tea out of a giant canister, try to find every piece of the over-complicated tea vessel my manager thought was cool looking, assemble the damn thing, grab a demi spoon, saucer, cup, honey, sweetener, a lemon, realize i…

Okay, fucking McDonalds has bistro aprons. Now will every pseudo-hip overpriced bar stop making their bartenders wear them?

"Chopped" seems inaccurate, it looks more like the produce was blended/run through a high powered food processor (it looks like a messy mash of pulp and juice).

Hell, I know Mexican-Americans who don't more Mexicans in the US. It's truly horrifying to hear their reasoning.

I re-watched some it recently and it is oddly comforting in it's blandness.

"and then a scorpion fell from the ceiling and stung a guy in the face!"
"Hey, make him tell the story right."
"That's what really happened"
"oh"

I was staying a friend's desert house and she cheerfully issued me a UV flashlight to use if I had needed to use the bathroom at night. I was at first horrified but ultimately disappointed I never found one.

My god…you really did suffer for Weinstein's sins. Should I have the opportunity I'll push him down a flight of stairs and do the sign of the alien cross in your honor.