This is almost a haiku.

A plague on both their houses

I have some friends who sat by Goldblum a few weeks ago at a restaurant in LA. Aparently he was reading a tattered old copy of 'On the Road' to a younger blonde woman. Guess ladies love the Kerouac.

Isn't that the whole historical context behind phrases like 'trailer trash'?

Oh my God your life was Cruel Intentions for a minute.

Ok, Eminem is Problematic as Fuck (official title) but I can not hate him. I grew up with his music, because my friends older brother was a fan. He (Eminem) helped me get through a really tough childhood, especially his particularly fucked up shit. Now, think of the sort of life a girl child who grew up and felt and…

every life IS precious EXCEPT FOR THE SINNING WHORES WHO WILL BURN IN ETERNAL HELLFIRE FOR THINKING THAT THEY CAN HAVE SEX WITHOUT BEING PUNISHED

I recently informed one of my yoga teacher relatives that we've been making GMOs for thousands of years, just by grafting/cross pollinating. I think she died a little on the inside.

Secret Shoppers are usually the scum of the earth. Luckily at my old restaurant (where I had 6 secret shoppers in less than 3 years!) they were really obvious about it and I was able to shmooze the shit out of them and I received a grade of 100% multiple times, resulting in a $100 bill from the owners. I was lucky,…

Oh my god this is such a ridiculously stupid common misconception. People didn't just randomly die in adulthood. Life expectancy was mathematically low because children died very frequently. If you made it to adulthood you had a pretty good shot of living until you were in your 60s...

This is a story about a friend of mine who is smart but not always real world smart.

Drugs increase the need for C-sections, which are an actual serious fucking surgery. Advocating for fewer drugs (or at least more open-ness about said drugs and perhaps a bit of caution and WAY less pressure) in hospital births doesn't mean that I'm a fucking anti-vaxxer.

It adds unnecessary risk in the same way giving birth in a hospital full of sick people with c-section happy doctors hovering over you does.

I bottle-fed my urchin and the breastfeeding contingent acted like I was giving my kid Round-Up! What the hell??? Bottle feeding, breastfeeding, who cares?? Frankly, my kid was sleeping through the night a hell of a lot earlier than the breastfeeding moms. And that, I valued for my sanity. You do whatever you want to…

How the fuck do you know how risky the birth was or what her reasons are?

If an expectant mother is in overall good health, a home birth doesn't really add much "unnecessary risk". Of course, it should still be attended by a qualified midwife who should have a well crafted contingency plan just in case. But there's really no reason why a healthy woman should not choose to birth at home.

A friend's MIL hasn't spoken to them since the birth of their now 1 year old. She wanted to be in the room, with the husband outside. They wanted to be just the two of them.

My sister-in-law, let's call her Satan, has not spoken to her sister for 9 years because she didn't take Satan's advice about how to have her baby. Satan had a very difficult birth and could not believe that her sister would dare have a home birth. The sister dared and Satan has never met her now 9-year-old nephew. On…