Um, helloooo . . . Has nobody here heard of JaMarcus Russell?

The song that Dolan sings in this video actually tells you everything you need to know in order to understand the past dozen years of Knicks basketball. He narrates the tale of a pathetic victim whose lady routinely and brazenly steps out on him with other men (men that Dolan "can smell all over [her] cashmere…

Sure, but before that NFL team murders someone, the team is going to have nonconsensual intercourse with that person and then get completely exonerated of sexual assault because, you know, they've got a big game coming up.

Good luck getting traded to a winner now that you've tattooed that Browns jersey over your entire torso, Josh.

Lincoln cringed a bit every time the cameras panned over to the stands, in a way that only Kurt Warner could truly understand.

Am I the only one who thinks the term "bum" connotes a white person? I don't see anything at all incongruous between being the 5th whitest city in America and being chock full of bums. (I also don't find anything particularly "amazing" about not wanting a parade celebrating a bunch of rich black men to be ruined by…

As did most non-Broncos fans, including a substantial majority of those neutral observers with above-average 'football IQ.'

Your suggestion that there exists an anthropomorphized jukebox that ridicules accomplished star athletes in gross disproportion to the magnitude of their actual professional failures is by far the most sensible and plausible thing about this comment.

Did you make this using Photoshop or that other popular free open-source photo editing software?