Jews work way harder to get around food restrictions than Catholics, but the observant Jews judge you WAY FUCKING HARDER than observant Catholics

when I was a server, I was always the sick bastard who would take those tables. Coworkers would seek me out. Be as fucking rude as you want, mother fuckers. I can sandbag all damn day and you are still getting autogratuity

I've never had the turkey one but I've had the halal version with beef. It's actually pretty good!

I'm this way with olives... weird shit. I hate coconut too but goddamn do I love me curry

I'm so sorry

And then they get pissed that there is no seat immediately available inside, and that their frozen drink melted...

'Do you air condition your open patio' was my fucking favorite

I would make up some story about how my boss told me I couldn't move it because it was an insurance liability.

Most sandwiches I could be down with that logic. But not this... not this...

A thing that I did not learn until recently is that a Sloppy Joe does not automatically mean ground beef in sauce on a bun. Apparently some places this means something close to a club.

Nothing crushes your soul more than someone ordering your best cut of meat and nuking it to death... and then bitching that it tastes like shoe leather.

I live in a pretty progressive state and there were no shortage of idiots like this when the patio opened up... fuckers.

I started working at a Jewish company and it's amazing the logical workarounds people use to skirt kosher rules... it puts catholics to shame

Most logical people would think that burnt meant the texture of the toasted bread. It's kind of hard to think like you have your head up your ass if you've never been there before

Flip side, you ever get an indignant customer who flips that you dared reiterate that because they're slow?? Fun times.

These are things you can't post without a recipe!

I will straight not fucking invite family members if you try pulling that and you are over the age of 12 and don't have some kind of health related dietary restriction.

Plodding is accurate because he these guys are all slow as fuck compared with their contemporaries in the nfl. No one gives a flying fuck that the cheeto dust on you causes extra drag making your 40 time a 6.50. It was obvious as to what you are objecting to. The point is no one gives a fuck because that's not the…

this dog eats better than most people. he's also fucking adorably stupid

There's something inherently awesome about making a teachable life moment out of that