I bet she feels like a plastic bag.

God, that last one is like a Monty Python sketch. It’s ex-ice cream! It’s ice cream pining for the fjords!

Because the universe is cruel, and the gods delight in our unhappiness. But nevermind. We still have the memories. Memorbees.

To be fair, does sound like the 500 calories wouldn’t, you know, necessarily stay in your stomach long enough to do owt to your waistline.

Temperature is just one more thing that the patriarchy controls. This is not about conditioning the air; it’s about conditioning the oppressed classes to accept the cheapest, most convenient, and easiest air that the ruling classes can provide. It is a result of capitalism: An effort to monetize the human condition…

In 7th grade, I chose to give a presentation on Shirley Temple Black and her post-Hollywood career. I think the assigned topic was just inspirational women or something. The internet wasn’t so hot back then, so I wrote her a letter, hoping for a form letter from her secretary to include in my report. Instead I…

You know I got Poldark gifs!

We know money cannot replace the wedding we lost.

I am not in favor of this, only because “hubby” is maybe the second-worst word in the English language. I won’t eat Chubby Hubby regardless because of the name, and this is twice as bad.

Pinkham! Please tell me you’ve had That’s My Jam Core. Raspberry without the terrible marshmallow rivers. Plus, you get to eat straight jam with a spoon and no one can judge you because THAT’S HOW YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO EAT IT, MOM, GOD.

I love BJs!!!

This is the only tweet that matters

Fondant can be smoothed with a fingertip if the bear's SEAM bothers you - you idiot woman who should never have the care and raising of human children.

god, he was hot even without the muscles. lisa bonet has picked the best baby daddies in the history of baby daddies.

They’re like flowy pants from Angela Bassett’s new line of flowy pants, Bassett by Angela for Angela Bassett.

Everyone needs to drive a vehicle, even the very tall. This is the largest auto that I could afford. Should I, therefore, be made the subject of fun?

Also, did anyone else look up Queen Letizia’s wedding dress and notice what her bridesmaids were wearing? You all need to see this:

This is particularly interesting because Priapus more or less is his penis in terms of symbolism, so it is odd that he would have a problem with fertility. I think it is possible that the phimosis is more symbolic than anything else.

What I think when I see those Pnina dresses: