I’m in the same boat.

Sure, women have been giving birth without medical intervention for centuries. And wow, it’s like modern medical technologies have had no impact on maternal death rates and infant mortality rates! It’s like nothing has changed at all!

Came here to write the same thing. Who the hell is managing the theoretical money in this situation, Warren Buffett?

That was my takeaway! Who’s getting that kind of return these days?

Gosh, who could have ever guessed that that picture might violate the ToU? I’m sure Arca posted that picture with absolutely no idea that it would be controversial, and is shocked — SHOCKED, I tell you — at the attention it received.

Mayyyyybe think about moving the extremely NSFW image after the jump.

Katharine Hepburn has no issue with this casting...

I let my 19 month old run around in just in swim bottoms because 1) she’s 19 months old, there is nothing remotely sexual about her pre-pre-pre-pubescent body 2) I ain’t got time to try an wrestle a wrigling toddler out of a wet lycra top or, god forbid a 1-piece swimsuit. Last year, I got some side-eye for this (yes,…

• I pick this one: “She visits her grandmother’s house for the first time when she’s old enough to pay for her own seat, iPad, and Beats by Dre headphones.” Keep your kid out of my underseat space. It’s mine. I bought it. Your kid is your problem. If she’s not old enough to fly, then she’s not old enough to fly.

we had to get a mortgage for more than 80% of our home’s value

True story: some guest’s +1 did this at my cousin’s wedding; it was basically a wedding dress if you married (hah) a little black dress and a wedding dress. Office printer paper white and more lace than the actual bride’s dress—justified, of course, by the fact that the +1 had been married 5 months ago and considered…

Thank you!! :) Here is the tattoo:

Today I bought shorts for the first time since 8th grade. This would not be a big deal to some people, but for this forever pale and chubby girl it was a huge step towards accepting myself. I’ve been working hard to take care of myself and I’m feeling healthier and more confident than I have in awhile. Team shorts! (I…

I try to avoid that sort of knowledge. I just drive the bus, make sure the hot tub is clean, keep the bar stocked. I have enough to worry about.

“You should see my Xbox setup: surround sound, 102 inch HD projection, theater seating with cup holders, a popcorn machine, and a kegerator. I can lift my own body weight over my head. Oh, and I can unlock my apartment door from my BMW.”

Here’s good rage-worthy material. A high school in Ohio purchases a tiger cub each year to act as the high school football team’s mascot (yes, an actual baby tiger). At the end of the season, they give it to a roadside zoo or push the cub into some other shitty living facility, and then buy a new cub the next fall.…

i remember the look i got from Jack Black at a D signing when i told him i was there for Kyle.

i also remember the look i got from kyle when i told him that

I used to work for the tabloids, so it’s not a question of if I have a story, but which one I tell the Jezzies.
There was the time Dave Navaro refused to be interviewed unless I gave him a blow-job. He had just married Carmen Electra.
There was the time on a red carpet that a very drunk Gary Busey asked me how, a…