YOU GUISE!!!! THIS IS HIM!!!!

This guy contacted me on okcupid last year and when I didn't respond, he emailed me again (persistent little fucker) and demanded to know why. This is his exact message -

That's what she said!

Spend more time around unpleasant men. You'll find them quickly enough.

Or they could just be on steroids.

Feeding and protecting something, by the way, is the opposite of plotting to eat its juicy little body. Just throwing that out there.

"It's pronounced 'Owen', so stop making that noise like a car wooshing past you at the Grand Prix."

Why the fuck can't we have sleeves on wedding dresses in America? Clearly, sleeves are not such a scarcity in other parts of the world.

Nothing traps electrons! The fuck kind of science is this, HuffPo?!

IMA LET YOU FINISH WITH THOSE HEARTS, DODAI, BUT BLINGEE HAS THE BEST POPE FRANCIS APPRECIATION GRAPHIC OF ALL TIME.

Continence, Ranked

It's a virus.

Walk into the club like what up #YesIDoLikeCoatsBigTime

I'm sorry but the article is wrong on so many levels it's actually disgusting (and rather anti-ovary owners for that matter).

(possum with blueberry tarts)

Well, damn, that explains my garage.

I hate to be "that guy," but... I sorta get this.

This is terrible!

Sweet: I love the Book Cellar, and I know a ton of places 'round there to grab a drink, if you guys are interested.

Tiana's hair is Sesame Street approved. Get with it Deborah Brown Community School!!