“Stick is candy!”

Too many auto-playing ads. 

In his defense, Gregg Popovich enlisted before he had Spurs.

More universities need to have ominous sounding names, "The Spire," "The Catacombs," "Arby's," etc.

Surprising to see him get the sack as an edge rusher; usually Peace comes from within.

These owners really need to stick to sports.

Food and soda in a gym. Do you want Morants? Because that's how you get Morants.

I fully support any player who wishes to run the bases like a maniac.

I’m so glad to see that the tables have turned and now Courtney Smith has Leveridge against the university.

Who dat?

Man, remember when Deadspin had their comment of the year thing? This shit would get a nomination.

Great. There will be more whistles...which will lead to longer games...which will lead to less people watching...which will lead to less pizza sales....which will lead to Papa John assuming that less people are watching due to players not taking the field for the National Anthem.

I genuinely can’t tell if this is satire and so my irony-poisoned ape brain is going through the roulette of “I’m here for this”/”Inject this into my veins”/”I can’t believe this website is free”

You don’t have to be American to be a real American hero.

People forget that.

You’d think a Packer would know what’s in his luggage.

[Crashes through a window, roundhouses the hampster, chugs an mgd, texts the ex in Spanish]

I feel you. I once said “There is no fucking way they can make a Speed 2. It just wouldn’t make sense! How would it even make sense?”

*north Queensland cowboys

Did he have to wear a cone to stop from messing with the stitches?