They should just go ahead and rip out the turf and replace it with denim over padding. They could make all the yard lines look like they were stitched, make the end zones look like pockets. It would be great.

Yes! We have a winner! I have to change the channel every time the Ballad of My First Boyfriend, Brad the Car comes on. YOU LOVED BRAD! Until someone gave you a sufficiently large check to forget Brad ever existed. She is so creepy, like someone from one of the more salacious TLC programs.

Pretty much all polo shirts look like “Oh my God! Is this guy pregnant?!” on me. Need that nice vertical line of buttons to break up the beach ball a bit vs. V neck pointing right at it and declaring “Look at this thing! It’s full of cheeseburgers!”

I honestly expected more than two games for replacing the game balls with leprous armadillos.

Crunk?! It’s called “The Crunk”? Does it come pre-loaded with Lil John’s entire catalog and a case of Crunk Juice? Yeeeeee-yeah!

Available in brown so is there a station wagon option?

It’s the anal hot dog of joy! Put on a happy face and prepare yourself.

You know, you’re calling him stupid but here you are giving him more publicity than he’s ever had in his life and there is a fairly decent chance that Trump is amused by this and ends up actually giving him money to sponsor the truck. This “stupid” move may well turn out to be the smartest thing this guy ever did.

Oh good! It’s hopeless so there’s no point in trying. Thanks! If anyone needs me, I’ll be at Ben and Jerry’s.

Oh, sure, now that you’ve driven around in a Hummer for a while everything else feels like you’re in an Isetta.

There are spots like this on the PA Turnpike. I go to get on and realize that I’m not allowed to get on there because I don’t have EZ Pass so now I’m trying to navigate to the next exit following the highway on surface streets like I’m an action hero trailing a helicopter. PA is also steadily cutting down on the cash…

The Las Vegas Flying Elvises (or Elvi, if you prefer)

Hey, unexplained fires are a matter for the courts! - GM

The dumbest part is that they chose this very young actress to deliver this message. If they’d used that old creep from the first commercial, that would suggest he’s been paying for decades without an accident. Instead they chose someone who looks like she’s been driving for maybe six months.

How can you do an article about these ads without mentioning Brad? YOU LOVED BRAD!

If Buster, Jake from State Farm and Snow White somehow had a baby...

I can do a reasonably good Roy Orbison. “Pretty Woman” kills every time.

Peekaboo!

I honestly don’t believe this is a deliberate conspiracy. It’s more likely each team independently decided that whatever improvement he might bring to their running back situation was not worth the PR nightmare that comes along with him. You’ve got no one to blame but yourself, Ray.

So, Plan Z involved using fire to lure Gamera onto a platform that transformed into a rocket ship and then launching him into space. So, are you saying I should lure all who oppose me into a death trap and launch them into space? Only as a last resort, of course...