I wasn’t sure how to classify the MAGAbomber.  He’s not white, but he certainly wants to be. 

Occam’s Toothbrush here. Razor has the day off.

Their mother reportedly received a call from the Saudi Arabian Embassy the day before their bodies were discovered, saying that her daughters had applied for political asylum and asking the family to leave the country. The sisters had also been reported missing last year in December according to CBS News, and when…

What a terrible, terrifying way to die, regardless of whether or not it was a suicide (although sounds unlikely). May they rest in power and peace. 

It would if you photoshopped every single picture of you ever taken.

Who else thinks a “normal person” means a 22 year-old yoga instructor from a wealthy family with a lifestyle blog?

Yes his story is GREAT and TRUE and did you check out the runner’s ass on this broad? 

No self-respecting woman would sleep with a man who shows up at her house wearing JNCOs...

Sugar in the gas tank doesn’t really kill cars though. 

My favorite narrative element of this great and true story was how you book-ended your praise of this woman for being interested in your HEART and MIND with a detailed description of her body. Presumably you were fascinated by the HEART and MIND of her “nice boobs on the larger side”.

I mean, sure the ghost in the first story saved you from the night stalker, but he also reached up your skirt and sexually assaulted you, so it’s not like he’s all good.

Examples:

and the follow up of course

I only have one to offer:

What The Fuck is “Chanded?” PLEASE, someone rule this idiot unfit for office!!!

Hell, Blind Melon blows them all out of the water. At least that was my hot take back then, and by golly I'm sticking to it now.

show up to an airport 45 minutes before takeover and—surprise, surprise!—miss my flight.

I have some definitely, authenticated, for real Dead Sea Scrolls I could sell them for like, 8 million bucks. Probably not fake at all. 

*side eyes*

is also what I say when I do something like show up to an airport 45 minutes before takeover