Maybe he wants Cher to be his mom.

While I was initially moved by his accounting and feelings for our system, I would love to know the rest of his personal platform.

I used to work with a guy named Dan Smyzlojowicz* and he used to tell people that after parents passed he has thinking about changing it. “Oh really? To what?”

I couldn’t decide if she should’ve turned up her mic to compensate for her weak voice, or turn it off all together. She should use her fame a different way, I think. Like run a charitable foundation on Beyonce’s nickel.

Siri: Who’s shorter- Babs or Billy Bush?

There’s no crying in baseball.

“Mike Huckabee is the fake-injured pedestrian on the Russian dashcam of politics.” Am I doing it right?

Idk, there’s a lot to be learned from comic book movies- with great power comes great responsibility...better to die the hero than to live long enough to become the villain...it goes on from there, I’m sure.

There really isn’t a gloating stance available after decades and decades of mediocrity, I’m afraid. Especially when we think about how Clan Ricketts took your money and gave it to the Trump campaign and god-only-knows whatever other regressive causes :(

These sweet jimmies are what makes all the rustlin’ payoff. Satisfying and lucrative.

The Cubs have been unjustifiably bad for too long as the 3rd largest metro region in the country. You’re a sucker if you gave them a nickel for putting such crappy product on the field for that long. The Ricketts family laughed at you while they took your money and gave it to the Trump campaign.

She traded Kurt’s soul for hers in a modest mansion on Lake Washington more than 20 years ago...

I had Hamno by noon, but this is acceptable and really rings true.

Pass.

No it wasn’t.

I see fingers.

Hammy by noon EST.

“Let’s show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown” —Mr. Ricketts, putting up yet another 40 second Trump ad

Can somebody put the cap back on that dry erase pen please and thank you