Let the beatings begin!

Neil Everett: “Yes, we all have a responsibility to make this a better place- for all of us.” Both the right thing to say, and a backhanded #alllivesmatter or nah

You know who would've liked this sext? AJ Delaurio

Very unsympathetic mid-life crisis.

Even Locks of Love is like, um no thanks

Highly puntable!

*not available for birthday parties

“Heh- good juan” —Univisíon

AND HE FINISHES HIM OFF WITH A ‘MALEVOLENT MARNIE’!!

The favelas have him now. #thehangover4

In for the win, maybe? Maybe it’s British. Those soccer headlines are hard to look at but are officially correct

“rung Bolt in” later on. Either there’s a style guide that supports it, or dude’s trying to “make ‘fetch’ happen.”

I was praying she would put one of those pot lids through the TV.

Pushing all those bobsleds really builds up the quads.

+1 cracker jack

Swimmers, lol

I don’t understand why you aren’t writing comedy for someone on television because this is gold

“RELAX, SAID THE NIGHTMAN BOOP-BOOP!

Darius Rucker paved the way, I'm afraid.