Context for people born after 1997 (cries on the inside)

Disrupt, not foster. Techies want to be disrupted.

“Our culture is filled with bars and strip clubs on every corner.”

If ever I am in a conversation where my counterpart leads a sentence with the clause, “In Silicon Valley, we....” I will immediately leverage my hand to foster innovation across their face.

That’s a paddlin

Most likely also Florida.

A less successful effort.

Alex Trebek: “Wrong but spiritually correct”

Contestant: “What is kissing your hottest cousin?”

Hmmm, who could possibly be to blame?

In other unbelievable breaking news, water is wet.

I mean, what can the left realistically do? Isn’t it up to more moderate republicans to take back their party?

The worst part of all of this, is that everything that we are forced to endure now (“lock her up” etc) are things that will be amplified throughout her presidency.

The worst part of all of this, is that everything that we are forced to endure now (“lock her up” etc) are things that will be amplified throughout her presidency. It’s not going to be magically over once she wins and he loses. However impossible it might seem, their whorling will become ever louder, drowning out…

Out of everything that came out of this election cycle, the most baffling to me is the redefining of the word ‘endorse’.

‘I won’t campaign with him. I won’t support him. I won’t defend him. But I will endorse him.’ WHAT. DOES. THAT. EVEN. MEAN?

Professionalism or not, being BFFs with Scalia is highly suspect.

Ken Bone, the undisputed winner of last night’s debate

To be fair, we also all wish Michelle was our mom, too.

I think everyone kind of wishes, deep down, that Obama was their dad.

I can’t help but feel somewhere deep in her heart she wishes Obama was her real father.