Wouldn’t it be amazing if his speechwriters (who are probably lazy, thieving assholes like him) just plagiarized the text that Sam showed his ex-fiancee in that episode? “In the last hundred years, we’ve split the atom, spliced the gene, and roamed tranquility base. Very beautiful place on the moon, by the way. And…

Blueberry buttermilk pancakes with real maple syrup are tremendous.

I actually think Letscher is better in the role than Cavanaugh. He plays the smarmy asshole really well (for example, on The West Wing). Cavanaugh is good, but he’s also naturally quite likeable.

Didn’t this asshole appear in Iron Man 3?

Blunderdome?

I think the problem is that he’s dressed as a character who exists solely to mock a group of people who do not deserve to be mocked.

So the pipe bombs are the responsibility of the bomber only - it would be completely unfair to blame anyone other than the person who actually sent the packages - but late night comedians are 100% to blame for the synagogue bombings.

Tj’s produce fucking sucks.

This is textbook cult of personality, right?

He was doing rallies without stumping for candidates right after inauguration.

I think you mean b-b-b-bonus-s-s-s-s.

I was hoping for a new version on today’s CBB, but alas, it’s another episode featuring Gino Lombardo.

I think a Trump is a bigger dickhead.

What about stamps.com and Lootcrate?

Laxalt really does sound like a crummy laxative brand. Like the kind you can only find at the 99 cent store.

I don’t think that’s true. But even if it is, I’m a fan if for no other reason than him taking a chance on Conan O’Brien.